>3 a.m.

>”It’s 3 a.m, I must be lonely….” ironically, 3 a.m. is the title of a song I first heard in highschool. Still not sure what it’s about, though. =) And I am sitting here at 3 am, not sure why I am awake, but I am.

Thinking… about lots of things. About NY….about me being here, even though of late I have so often been elsewhere in spirit & mind. Africa specifically. I really think it’s true that as an MK, I’ll never feel as though I ‘belong’ anywhere, and I am inexplicably part of three worlds… America, Africa, and heaven. And I think only the latter will truly feel like home. And that can be disheartening at times because I’m stuck here.

Tonite I went to a Christmas party through Redeemer and met a guy who studied abroad in Kenya, and knew about RVA. And I think maybe it was just the pick-me-up I needed to feel like the world is still connected. And that I’m not crazy to have my heart in two places.

Today I joined the throngs of tourists in mid-town to garner some Christmas gifts for my family. It was like 35 degrees, and big fat snowflakes were falling heavy and fast all afternoon, instantly turning to water upon reaching the concrete ground. Not much of a first snow. But it definitely made a mental switch for me…. winter is upon me. Gloves weren’t enough. A warm scarf wasn’t enough. The mediocre winter coat I was wearing wasn’t enough. And I am so thankful I bought a warm winter coat last week… in the mail as I write–just in time!

And the reality of training in bad weather also was upon me! =/

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