>living in anticipation

>when i think back to my childhood, i always remember looking forward to things… looking forward to turning 12, or forward to starting high school, looking forward to the independence of having a drivers license, to graduating from college, and other various experiences i associated with a certain time in life that i often idealized. and almost inevitably in hindsight i realize that the best times were often ones i was essentially wanting to fast forward. in hindsight, i think that living in anticipation was at the expense of relishing the present and celebrating the past. there are countless experiences i had while i was in high school and college that i wish now i had rellished, because they were beautiful in and of themselves, worthy of celebrating, and now my memory serves me too poorly to embrace those moments and what i learned in them. i was too busy looking forward to the next milestone or thinking that somehow i was moving towards a more idealic point in the future, and i didn’t bother to “stop and smell the roses” and objectively look at my life and the ways i was blessed today. i think its an important lesson to learn to praise the Lord for His work in the past and how He works today, and thank Him for it.

anyway…thats a thought from of late. i am currently looking forward to Columbia, to starting off in a new city with a clear goal in mind, surrounded by academia again, and i am sure that once the reality of it sets in, i’ll realize what i’ve left behind here in north carolina, and will be dreaming about being back home, surrounded by good people, my family, and having the time and freedom to daydream…

if only it wasn’t just hindsight that is 20/20…

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